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Chuck Norris Facts, 2053

Page history last edited by Anonymous 3 yrs ago
  • Chuck Norris can parry monowhips.

 

  • The boots of Chuck Norris are made entirely of Juggernaut hides, orichalcum, and drop bear fur.

 

  • Normal PCs can have no more than 4 Initiative Actions per round. Chuck Norris can have more, but he only ever needs the one.

 

  • Chuck Norris knows exactly where Atlantis is; he put it there.

 

  • Ally spirits go on astral quests across the metaplanes in order to earn the ability to have sex with Chuck Norris.

 

  • Whenever Chuck Norris is hired to do a shadowrun, the Johnson smiles suspiciously and assures him that "It'll be easy." This Johnson is correct.

 

  • All reflex recorders are cloned tissue from the spinal column of Chuck Norris.

 

  • Chuck Norris was once hired by Ares Macrotechnology to test their new multi-phasic kinetic hyperlaser in a run against Saeder-Krupp. He knocked Lofwyr out with a single roundhouse kick, took the loot, and reported that the laser was an inadequate beard trimmer.

 

  • Mentor spirits spend 5 BP at chargen to learn the ways of Chuck Norris.

 

  • A harsh glare from Chuck Norris can be felt through an active Pain Editor.

 

  • In truth, Chuck Norris does not "shadowrun." Running implies urgency. Chuck Norris "shadowmeanders."

 

  • Chuck Norris was upset at Dunkelzahn. Once.

 

  • Technomancers possess an innate ability to communicate with the wireless Matrix as this is the best way to fully absorb reruns of "Walker, Texas Ranger."

 

  • The sweat of Chuck Norris is superior to Dikote. Too bad he never sweats.

 

  • The next Scourge will not happen during the Sixth World, as the Horrors are terrified of Chuck Norris.

 

  • Chuck Norris is not "minmaxed." He is "maxmaxed."

 

  • When vampires go to sleep for the day, they check their air ducts for Chuck Norris.

 

  • Chuck Norris isn't hung like a troll, trolls are hung like Chuck Norris.

 

  • There was originally a Chuck Norris Skillsoft, but it had to be recalled. No matter what the user tried to do, they'd just roundhouse kick the nearest person. When asked about this glitch, Chuck said "What glitch?"

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