An overweight and surly postal worker, Stan worked in the dead-letters department and as a truck driver, doing very little actual work. He never had many friends, and was capable of getting others to do work for him just by being lazy and whining.

Stan is a nerd of the highest order, surfing the net for bad sci-fi fanfics, being the two time WatsFic D&D tournament champion, and making his own chainmail. Stan's basement has also been dubbed "Malkor's Painkeep."

It was no surprise that some television producers chose Stan to star in a reality TV show, "Wouldn't You Like To Have My Life?" In the show the producers give Stan $10,000,000 and followed him around with cameras for six months. At the end of the show, Stan was given the choice of three HAWT women, one of whom he would marry. Stan has blown all but $1,000,000 dollars on frivolous pursuits: everything from the original Bobba Fett armour, to a motorized pool chair, to a $10,000 cash injection to bumfights.com. Stan's wife does not really like or respect him, but she puts out and does whatever he says, most of the time. Stan, suspecting as much, has hired PI Ruppert "Ripper" Moore to keep tabs on her.